Adam‘s beer can predict the future. And I don’t mean it makes him THINK he can predict the future, in the same way it makes him think he can dance, or think he is a stumbling, slurring chick magnet. Apparently, the beer itself has the ability to predict, and even influence future events.

Or so he says. He came upon this startling revelation during Saturday night’s Leaf game against The Canadiens. During a routine perusal of the fridge contents he realized he had 13 bottles of Sleeman’s on the bottom shelf. He knew the game was about to start and that his beloved Leafs needed every ounce of superstitious luck that could be mustered.

He decided that having 13 beers was bad luck (don’t ask me to explain the logic behind this, I don’t know) so he had to drink it.Okay, so far, not too weird.The beer was finished and the empty bottle was placed on the coffee table, on a coaster (I didn’t teach him this – he uses coasters more than I do). The leafs were doing well and Adam settled back, confident that he had done his part to ensure a Maple Leaf victory and a possible play-off slot.

Then he moved the beer off the coaster (not sure why) and that is where things went downhill. The Canadiens rallied back and then pulled ahead, to Adam’s horror. He was contemplating the cause of the turnaround when he realized that he had moved the empty beer bottle. He hastily restored it to its place on the coaster and held his breath, hoping the damage was not irreversible. It wasn’t. The Leafs came back, and eventually won the contest.

In Adam’s mind, this cemented the phenomenal capabilities of this mysterious 13th beer bottle. Since the Leafs were not in the play-offs yet (NY Islanders needed to lose the Sunday afternoon game to let the Leafs in) he absolutely forbade me to move the beer bottle for the rest of the regular season. So the bottle sat, like a trophy proclaiming future Leaf victory, on the coaster on the coffee table in the living room.

Unfortunately, it looks like the magic bottle had exhausted its powers to influence the Hockey Gods, for the Islanders won today against the NJ Devils, who were not playing to win this game as it had no bearing on their play-off future (or so Adam says, but I think a goal with 0.7 sec left, overtime AND a shootout shows evidence of a decent fight). Obviously, the Devils didn’t get the memo from corporate that Adam Finley’s happiness rested on them pounding the Islanders, and they dropped the ball, well puck, big time.

As for Adam, he still has faith in his bottle, even though he has finally allowed me to move it from the coaster. In his mind, the bottle CAN influence the universe, but it can only take it so far. I mean, after all, no one can make the Leafs play like the Senators.Yeah, I’m sleeping on the couch tonight for that comment.