I just bought this great double-strong two-sided tape you can use to hang stuff on the wall named “No More Nails” and I thought Great, I hate nails. Too hard to work with and sometimes they get arrogant and really who needs mouthy hardware?

But then I thought about the name of the tape and thought that’s a pretty bald insult to the nail community as a whole. I mean how would I feel if a new occupation started calling themselves “No More Chemists?” I’d probably be pissed. Then I felt bad for nails being targeted like that and thought that maybe the tape could have come up with a less controversial, moe supportive name like, “Nails Are Great, But You Can Use Us Too,” but then I thought that’s a lame name for tape, though it isn’t that much worse than “No More Nails,” so maybe it might fly. Then I found out that even though this double sided tape replaces nails and you don’t have to put a hole in your wall, it rips off a giant strip of paint when you remove it, which pissed me off and so now I am feeling much more sympathetic to nails on the whole and their random persecution by this paint-peeling intruder. Screw you, No More Nails, I like my hardware just fine.

Anyone want a giant roll of double sided tape?

Our recent side-trip to Oregon gave me another chance to observe the odd American obsession with our Canadian money. Comments about the colour, denominations and nicknames for the cash (okay, I admit that “toonie” is a lame moniker) are ever-present when our Canadian currency is displayed and I have a couple of points for anyone with an unusual fascination with our moola:

1. I am really not sure that the Clown commuminty as a whole has one accepted form of currency, so please stop calling it “clown money.”

2. The colours help us tell them apart at a glance and reduce the risk of slipping a $50 bill to our cab driver instead of a $20 when we have been having a few too many at the bar. Good idea, no?

3. Stop trying to pull the middle out of the toonie. It’s way too hard, and besides, I think it is a federal offense.

4. Okay, so we don’t have a bill for anything under $5 anymore – just the one-dollar and two-dollar coins. But you can have a whole wad of cash in your pocket and still only have $7, whereas we can have $35 dollars worth of “just change” in our pockets and not even know it until we count it. I like good surprises.

5. Loonies may look like Pirate gold to you, but I can use it to get a coffee from Timmies while you are still trying to get the chocolate out of it.

Thank you. Carry on…

I’ve decided that more productive and faster-loading computer programs are not what I want. To hell with efficiency. When would I get in my daydreaming if not while waiting for photoshop to open?

This guy’s brilliant…

I just found this hilarious site via Shelterrific and spent the last hour looking it through from top to bottom. “It’s Lovely, I’ll Take it!” is a site dedicated to some of the more questionable choices home selllers make in photographing and listing their houses, including terrible, blurry pictures that don’t really show anything about the house, evidence of obsessive-compulsive behavior, dirty bathrooms (with the unflushed toilet in the frame) and rooms that have clearly just had a frat party roll in through them. I mean, really, would it take that long to pick up the trash a little before snapping the pic? And what’s with the giant dog?

From Adam’s most recent Twitter update:

“For sale: 1 slightly used 15″ crt monitor. Has only been on the front curb of my driveway in the rain once.”

…to think this was a good idea?

And, being boys, I heard this conversation shortly after:

“Okay, Adam, sit down it’s your turn.”
“But that looked like it really hurt!”
“Yeah, it did, A LOT! Sit down…”
“Okay…”

which resulted in this:

Of course, the chief reason these hilarities ensued was likely due to the ball game and drinking too much of this:

One small keg, six people, dry by 3am. .

Like all great ideas from the depths of Colin‘s consciousness, this one was born of many, many, many glasses of beer and a conversation that was way too serious for the current blood alcohol saturation level. Back in October of last year a pact was entered into by Colin and Adam to embark on a great baseball quest (searching for….?) this season, and the first stage took place just over a week ago. Inexpertly titled “A Cacophony of Epiphanies,” the rules, as outlined by a fading Adam and Colin on that fateful October night, are outlined at the end of this post. And near incomprehensible.

The quest was officially started with a trip to The SkyDome on Retro Jersey night. 12 of our closest friends, a few questionable baby-blue retro jersey purchases, a two-day Rock Band marathon (with some actual guitar playing thrown in for fun)  and a mini-keg for the 6 of us left at the end of the adventure sure made this crazy idea seem kinda logical as we all had a great weekend. More pictures can be seen here, and here (the second set is Adam’s).

The Official Rules are listed after the jump, for anyone interested.

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For some reason it has this library of really dorky photo frames you can use on pictures taken on the phone, such as this fantastic one I used to turn the feline Hoover, Ollie, into a wild west gunslinger.